For the SECOND DAY IN A ROW I have woken up and promptly taken a sleeping pill because the bottle looks EXACTLY THE SAME AS MY GODDAMN MEDICINE AND I KEEP THEM BOTH NEXT TO MY BED. I hate myself.

(Source: twitter.com)

(Source: clownstein)

"Wanna go stare at that poster?" Yeah they’re on shrooms.

My roommates are either on shrooms or just being really observant. Probs on shrooms.

What your dinner says about you

ritz crackers and an oatmeal raisin granola bar:

You’re in college, and poor, and probably incredibly lazy. It may be raining outside. It’s possible that you like to save your crackers for when you’re drunk but desperate times call for desperate measures. Maybe you ate all of the good flavors from your granola bar variety pack and you are left with the forever reviled oatmeal raisin. You probably should be studying for your numerous exams and papers but instead you are typing up absurd things on the internet. The last time you left your bed was approximately 6 hours ago.

SHOUTOUT TO THE MITTEN

Wooooo a federal judge in Michigan, my home state, just ruled that the ban on same sex marriage is unconstitutional! It’s about damn time.

My brother is 25 today and has lived a fuller life than any other person I have ever met. If you can think of something crazy and dangerous, he has done it. If you can point to somewhere on a map, he has been there. If you can think of some weird historical fact, he knows it. He also just happens to be the kindest, most generous, and accepting person that I know. Of course he also used to chase me around with an airsoft gun and eat all of the Waffle Crisps, so, there’s that.

Cheers to you, broski.

(Source: heytinafey)